my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
