just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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