hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
