I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
