Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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