if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
