When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
