party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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