Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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