whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
