I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
