Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
