Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
