halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
