Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Everyone says I win the strip club
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
