I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
