You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
