He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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