Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
