I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
