Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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