how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
