wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
the raccoons are back...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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