A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I forget how to act sober
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
