My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
