Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
