He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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