and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
