I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
