Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
