honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
