My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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