I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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