I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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