I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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