Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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