i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
