What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
