you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
A+ Viking dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
