Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she peed on how many people?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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