I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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