So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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