People in love make me want to vomit
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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