I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
