i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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