you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
