i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
