Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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