he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so let's talk penis.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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