tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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